Motherhood doesnt make you a super hero - being a magnificent woman does

Mothers’ Day is fast approaching and whilst this is a happy, stress-free event for me, I understand that it can be very difficult and problematic for other women. Mothers’ Day must be excruciating for those who have experienced loss or were unable to have children; or for women grieving their own mothers or poorly parented childhoods. However, for women who have chosen to be child free, Mothers’ Day must feel like a rather exclusive party to which they weren’t invited.

Despite the fact that in this day and age women achieve the most incredible things, reproduction is still frequently considered to be the most life changing and rewarding event in a woman’s life. Whilst I adore being a mother and holding those little precious bundles in my arms was indeed life changing and amazing, I think it’s naive and almost verging on arrogant to consider this experience the ‘pinnacle of life’ for every woman. There is no one-way route for happiness and fufillment, just look at Dolly Parton and Oprah (two amongst many fabulous, child-free women).

There is a widely felt assumption that motherhood generates more empathy, compassion and ultimately makes you more evolved as a human being. In light of the number of cases of neglected and abused children, this notion is frankly absurd (Remember Rose West?). Conversely, this prevailing generalization suggests that child- free women have less empathy. I have to say that the fabulous women I know, who have chosen not to have children, are just as insightful and fully briefed on life, as those who know that pain of staying up all night with a teething infant. It was once suggested that Teresa May was less qualified to act as Prime Minister as she had chosen not to have children. I’m not entirely sure how wrangling toddlers makes you any better prepared to negociate a flailing Brexit Deal but I might be wrong there!!

Motherhood can often be exclusive. I have heard of so many cases where mothers have dropped their child- free friends because ‘they don’t understand.’ This is a mistake; for they can bring news on the outside world and a fresh perspective on your potty training woes. (I have to confess a tiny part of me was selfishly disappointed when my long term child-free friend announced her pregnancy: who would provide that great big dose of reality and potty free discussion?) The thing is, motherhood can be divisive and it’s hard to smash the patriachy when there is so much infighting; so let’s just agree that all women are different and equally magnificent.

To the Mothers; I wish you a Happy Mothers Day. (I, for one will be milking it for all it’s worth). To my child-free pals, thanks for all your support, I bloody love you. And for the love of God, can we all leave Jennifer Aniston alone, she’s not having a baby and allegedly she’s cool with that!

Sophie xxxx

Bedding in Liberty Print ‘Wild Flowers’

Insomnia : the all night rave that isn't fun

When I started to write this blog, I promised myself that I would only write about things that I am very familiar with and unfortunately insomnia is one of those things. Generally accompanied by its best friend Anxiety, insomnia usually sticks around for a couple of weeks, two or three times a year. Even though it’s appearance is relatively brief, this all night rave of worry and stress is all consuming and extremely debilitating. In this blog I thought I’d write about the things that help me get through these dark and lonely times and come out the other side feeling weary, but with a little more perspective. I’ll try not to regurgitate the same old tips on exercise and caffeine limits, but include some practical ideas that have helped me.

Get up , Get Out

No matter how little I may have slept, I try really hard to get up, make my bed and start the day. I find this helpful to try and reset my body clock and impose a routine on my sleep habits. If I really need to nap, I grab half an hour on the sofa, so that my bed is only associated with night time sleeping.

Run List for the day.

When I get up after a poor night’s sleep, I often feel rather hopeless and loosy-goosy about what I am going to do with the day. Anyone who has suffered from anxiety will know how hard it can be to make decisions. In order to reduce night time worry and avoid the ‘how the hell am I going to get through the day?’ feelings, I compose a ‘run list’ the night before. The ‘run list’ is very basic and includes little chores like dropping off the boys, walking the dog, work and also nice things such as reading a few chapters of a good book and having a bath. At the end of the day, I tick these off the run list, which makes me feel like that I am bossing it, in spite of the unwelcome anxiety and insomnia raving in my head.

Sleep Apps

Using sleep apps obsessively is counter productive in terms of giving too much time and energy over to ‘fixing a problem’ that can ultimately only fix itself. However, I do find sleep tracking technology quite useful with limited use (Sleepio). By looking at the quality, duration and time span of my sleep problems, I can see that my insomnia isn’t as drastic as I thought it might have been. It is clearly evident that my sleep goes through cycles and that I have made an excellent comeback from periods of insomnia. This helps me to challenge the irrational thoughts that scream ‘you will never, ever sleep again’ very rudely and loudly at 3 in the morning.

Meditation

In Russian, they don't say "I can't sleep." They say: "It isn't sleeping to me”. I really like this idea of not trying to sleep, but waiting for sleep to arrive. In order to welcome the elusive sleep, I use meditation to put myself in the most relaxed and calm position possible. I have to admit that I find quite a lot of meditation, in particular visualization, quite challenging. When I’m feeling anxious and wobbly, I find body scans and breathing meditations more accessible (Calm). In order to use meditation effectively at night, I try to practice once or twice during the day and attempt keep these sessions quite succinct, so that I don’t drift off to the ‘worry party’.

Insomnia can be really miserable and tricks you into thinking that it will never go away, but IT DOES. Rather like committing to a mantra, sometimes I find it helpful to write this down and repeat it often. Sleeplessness tends to ease once I have accepted its presence and worked out how I am going to manage it without being too controlling and obesessive. I don’t doubt that there are millions of others at this all night anxiety rave, and if you’re one of those party go-ers, please know that you have a friend (I’ll bring the vodka, you bring the whistles).

Sophie xxxx

Brighten up the insomnia party with new bedding in Liberty of London’s Felicite

Planning prettiness : Poppy and Honesty Spring/ Summer 2020.

My imposter syndrome runs far too deep to describe myself as a designer. In my mind, this title refers to the couturiers of high fashion and creators of amphibious cars (yes they exist) and hover boards (it wont be long). I find pretty fabrics and put them together to make them look even prettier.

When I begin to plan a new collection, I think about it in the same way as interior design : How do I want it to feel? For our winter collection, I wanted to create the feeling of being warm, cosy and cocooning and I hoped to achieve this by using rich earthy colours and textures such as crumpled linen and velvet. In contrast, I wanted our latest collection to feel easy- breezy, fun and fresh by using stripes, florals and ginghams, like a candy coloured pick and mix.

Bedding in Suzy Stripe

Suzy Stripe

Suzy Stripe reminded me of the seaside and as a Cornish based business we just had to include it into our collection : it’s pastel stripes are reminiscent of beach huts, deck chairs and sticks of rock. Suzy Stripe has a classic vintage feel which combines perfectly with our floral prints. Lumbar cushions, pillowcases, bedding sets and fitted sheets are all available in Suzy Stripe.

Penzance

Distinguished by it’s checkered pattern, gingham conjures up memories of summer school uniforms, Dorothy from Oz and classic table cloths. With its timeless charm, I though ‘Penzance’ would sit well amongst the nostalgic Liberty of London floral prints in our collection. The vibrant mustard and white check is fresh, fun and full of sunshine. Pillowcases and fitted sheets are currently available in Penzance.

Pillowcases in Penzance, Suzy Stripe, Capel and Felicite

Felicite

The delicate rose trail pattern was designed for Liberty of London in 1933. ‘Felicite’ is part of the Liberty Classics Collection in 1979 which included re- worked and re-coloured interpretations of Liberty’s most iconic prints. With its tones of peach, orange and lemon, this particular version of Felicite felt perfect for our summer collection. Pillowcases, bedding sets and fitted sheets are currently available in Liberty of London Tana Lawn cotton ‘Felicite.’

Betsy in Pink

Also part of the Liberty Classic’s Collection,’ Betsy’is a well known icon from the Liberty of London archive. This beautiful re-worked and re-coloured print was launched in 2019 in a soft pallet of rose pinks and sage green. As it is available in a linen base, we felt it would be the perfect print for our day bed mattresses. Bedding sets, pillowcases and fitted sheets are also available in Liberty of London Tana Lawn Cotton ‘Betsy’ in pink.

Duvet cover in Betsy Pink and Capel Mustard (coming soon).

As I work alone for much of the time, I am always so very grateful for your feedback. I find it incredibly difficult to be thinking a season ahead, at this time of year I want to wrap myself in sheepskins, drink cocoa and cover the house in fairy lights. Whenever spring decides to make an appearance, Poppy and Honesty is ready and waiting with an array of stripy, gingham and floral gorgeousness.

Sophie xx

Dog Person : My love affair with a rogue spaniel

I wasn’t always a dog person. My eyes would inwardly roll when folks would swoon over their new doggie friends, sometimes even referring to themselves as the pooch’s Mama and Papa. Don’t get me wrong I liked dogs, but I couldn’t understand how and why they made their owners gush with babbling baby talk and impose their boring doggy requirements of walking, pooping and training on the already strained lives of busy families. Then in trotted Dotty, the naughtiest spaniel in the world and I completely changed my mind.

My Mum recently asked me why I liked the dog so much, to which I responded '‘because she’s so nice”. There is no rudeness, door slamming, passive aggression or tantrums; just a waggy tail and a willingness to please. She makes me get out and enjoy beautiful parts of the Cornish coast, providing much needed breathing space in the middle of my busy day. A GP and a psychiatrist have both independently told me that they wish that they could prescribe ‘dog’ to their patients. Not only do they impose routine and exercise on their owners but provide company to those amongst us who feel afraid and alone. I have to say that I have never felt lonely with the silky spaniel at my feet and those big doe eyed stares are the perfect antidote to stroppy teenagers and tax returns..

Of course doggy ownership is not without its challenges. The puppy phase nearly killed us and bad Dotty was sent off to boot camp/Borstal for 4 weeks intensive ‘correction’ (she only just graduated!). She destroyed the builders shoes, dug a hole in the sofa and would run away for hours, living it up chasing cats and raiding bins. Honestly there were so many times when I thought to myself that she would have to go.

Dotty has now given up being a badass, although she’s still partial to a sock and enjoys stealing sandwiches from toddlers as pastime. I am glad we persevered and can’t ever see myself without a canine friend for company; I guess that makes me a dog person after all.

Sophie xxx

PS. I really enjoyed ‘Everyone died so I got a dog’ by Emily Dean and ‘Lost Dog’ by Kate Spicer. In both of these brilliant memoirs ‘the dog’ is the steady, grounding and important element of the authors lives.

Spaniel (currently not for sale) Cushions in Liberty of London print Betsy and Capel.

Top of The Pods

I am in the very fortunate position of being able to work from home for Poppy and Honesty. A situation that gives me enormous flexibility, the opportunity to pick up my children from school and permanent access to the fridge. Unfortunately this also means that sometimes I don’t speak to another human being all day long, which in spite of the efforts of my enthusiastic spaniel. can be very lonely. Enter the Pod Cast, the isolation buster that makes me feel like part of a wider conversation and stops me going bonkers in my little Cornish studio.

Below I have compiled a list of my current favourite podcasts. I couldn’t possibly rank them as my choice depends on how I am feeling and what I am doing. I generally don’t binge, but listen to them periodically like a much anticipated soap opera that comes once a week.

The Adam Buxton Podcast. King of Pods, Doctor Buckles has a wonderful interview style, light hearted and rambling he talks to some interesting people. Often very funny but with some serious content.

Favourite episode. : Charlie Booker.

How To Fail by Elizabeth Day. This podcast ultimately appeals because it celebrates things that haven’t gone right in life and discusses how they have opened doors to better things. Host Elizabeth Day talks to some excellent people who open up about their experiences of failure.

Favourite episode : Sathnam Sanghera

The High Low. Journalists Dolly Alderton and Pandora Sykes discuss popular culture and more serious current affairs and issues. I love this because it brings me up to date with whats going on, provides excellent book and box set recommendations and also entertains with highly amusing bants.

Favourite Episode - A Bumper Back to School Book Special

Griefcast. Comedian Cariad Lloyd talks to other comedians about bereavement. The results veer from being shocking, revealing to very funny.

Favourite Episode : Adam Buxton

Table Manners by Jessie Ware -Warm hearted foodies Jessie and her Mum Lenny invite famous guests over to dinner at their homes. A wider discussion about food and family generally follows.

Favourite Episode : Sadiq Khan.

What pods do you love ? Do you have any tips on combatting isolation when working from home? I’d love to hear from you.

Sophie x

Liberty of London fabrics. Left : Peach Nouveau. Right : The Strawberry Thief. Available as bedding and quilts here.