Motherhood doesnt make you a super hero - being a magnificent woman does
Sophie Lombardi
Mothers’ Day is fast approaching and whilst this is a happy, stress-free event for me, I understand that it can be very difficult and problematic for other women. Mothers’ Day must be excruciating for those who have experienced loss or were unable to have children; or for women grieving their own mothers or poorly parented childhoods. However, for women who have chosen to be child free, Mothers’ Day must feel like a rather exclusive party to which they weren’t invited.
Despite the fact that in this day and age women achieve the most incredible things, reproduction is still frequently considered to be the most life changing and rewarding event in a woman’s life. Whilst I adore being a mother and holding those little precious bundles in my arms was indeed life changing and amazing, I think it’s naive and almost verging on arrogant to consider this experience the ‘pinnacle of life’ for every woman. There is no one-way route for happiness and fufillment, just look at Dolly Parton and Oprah (two amongst many fabulous, child-free women).
There is a widely felt assumption that motherhood generates more empathy, compassion and ultimately makes you more evolved as a human being. In light of the number of cases of neglected and abused children, this notion is frankly absurd (Remember Rose West?). Conversely, this prevailing generalization suggests that child- free women have less empathy. I have to say that the fabulous women I know, who have chosen not to have children, are just as insightful and fully briefed on life, as those who know that pain of staying up all night with a teething infant. It was once suggested that Teresa May was less qualified to act as Prime Minister as she had chosen not to have children. I’m not entirely sure how wrangling toddlers makes you any better prepared to negociate a flailing Brexit Deal but I might be wrong there!!
Motherhood can often be exclusive. I have heard of so many cases where mothers have dropped their child- free friends because ‘they don’t understand.’ This is a mistake; for they can bring news on the outside world and a fresh perspective on your potty training woes. (I have to confess a tiny part of me was selfishly disappointed when my long term child-free friend announced her pregnancy: who would provide that great big dose of reality and potty free discussion?) The thing is, motherhood can be divisive and it’s hard to smash the patriachy when there is so much infighting; so let’s just agree that all women are different and equally magnificent.
To the Mothers; I wish you a Happy Mothers Day. (I, for one will be milking it for all it’s worth). To my child-free pals, thanks for all your support, I bloody love you. And for the love of God, can we all leave Jennifer Aniston alone, she’s not having a baby and allegedly she’s cool with that!
Sophie xxxx
